Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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