How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
