I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
