can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
