like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
