I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
PANTIES FOUND
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