garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
why didn't you poke me back
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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