she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
