Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
