I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
