what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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