When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
