I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
