if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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