she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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