I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
