I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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