Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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