i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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