I can't breathe out the right side of my face
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize