I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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