Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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