your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
