I just googled if crying burns calories
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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