come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
