I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
