We won't sleep together?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
