yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
