doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
