dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
