My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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