Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
