is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
where am i from again
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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