You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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