ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
