apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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