i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
