walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize