Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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