sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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