Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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