Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
