Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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