I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
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according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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