I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
