It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
