Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
pray to the hookup gods
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
