The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
