im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
babies were throwing up all over the place
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
