all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
