From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
