I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
its liver damage thursday
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
