Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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