So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
