He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
