wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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