susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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