So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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