honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
