He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
